Ryanisms

Deck the Halls
We began decorating the house for Christmas soon after our return from our Thanksgiving travels.  We have tackled it in spurts over the past couple of weeks as time and energy have permitted.  Our first order of business was to hang the pre-lit garland from the mantel and hallway railings and stair banisters since it's fairly quick and easy to put up and offers immediate results.  Excited to see the house illuminated, we were disappointed to discover that we were going to be one garland length short in the upstairs hallway.  To make matters worse, we weren't able to finish decorating for several days since the garland was not purchased locally.  We were going to have to wait until Mike could stop by the Robin's Nest in Easton to purchase the remaining garland strand.  It seemed as though every time he made a trip up or down the stairs, Ryan would comment on the missing garland.  One evening, he remarked, "We need to work a little bit harder on this tomorrow.  It looks funny.  No me think we can enjoy it like this!"  At least he used the pronoun, "we."  It seems far less condescending that way!  :-)  Thankfully, he's satisfied with the finished product as the house is now decorated with more than 50 feet of twinkling garland. 

Bathroom Humor
This past Friday, we went to Towson Town Center for Santa pictures and to do a little Christmas shopping.  While we were waiting for Santa to return from an emergency trip to the toy factory at the North Pole (a.k.a. his lunch break), I decided to take Ryan to the bathroom for a diaper change.  I thought I'd take advantage of the opportunity to use the bathroom as well.  Since I couldn't leave him in the bathroom alone, I had to bring him into the stall with me.  When I was finished, he said, "Good job, Mommy!"  Then he inquired, "Me no thought you had a pickle."  When I assured him that girls do not, in fact, have pickles, he then asked, "well how you go pee pee then?"  Figuring that was neither the time nor the place to tackle that sensitive discussion (plus, Mike should have to suffer through it as well), I hurriedly ushered him out of the stall, praying that we'd find an empty bathroom.  No such luck - there were several ladies waiting in line, all trying unsuccessfully to stifle their giggles.  If only they had changing tables in the men's room..

Diaper Disaster
Gavin has not had a good day so far today.  He shrieked inconsolably most of the morning.  I had no idea if the crying was due to teething, a stomachache, being overtired, or just crankiness.  Ryan and I tried everything we could think of to calm him down.  We read to him, sang to him, played music, rocked him, carried him around...nothing worked and we were starting to loose our patience.  By lunchtime, I was at my wit's end and had to put him in his bouncy seat in the kitchen so I could make a sandwich for Ryan.  We were relieved when he finally let out a long chain of "toots" and mini explosions in his diaper.  Thankful for the silence and grateful that the problem had finally passed (no pun intended), I took Gavin upstairs for what I assumed was a much needed diaper change.  Ryan accompanied me to help.  I was shocked to discover that Gavin only had a wet diaper.  As I had both of his ankles in one hand and was wiping his bottom with the other, he decided to let out another long string of "toots."  Ryan, of course, thought this was hilarious.  His amusement quickly turned to horror as Gavin's "toots" were replaced by squirts of diarrhea.  I frantically tried to catch it using anything within arm's reach - the discarded diaper, wet wipes, a dirty sock.  Unfortunately, although most of it landed in my hand, a few drops did get on the carpet.  I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry.  Luckily, Ryan made the decision for me when he emphatically exclaimed (from the safety of the rocking chair), "Geez, what is up with this kid?!"